Organization XIII: Day Out
by iwantmyanime
Summary: A humorous story about Organization XIII. Many of the members are bored with their life and decide to take a 'day out.' Chaos shall follow...


**At the Castle**  
Organization XIII is a very serious and evil organization indeed…or is it? Let's just stop and take a look at a day in the life of Organization XIII…  
Each member has their own personality and problems, their own likes and dislikes. Can thirteen different people actually live in harmony together?

It was lunch time at the castle, everyone knew the drill. Go get your food and drink and sit down. Simple enough. The first one to arrive was Xigbar. He grabbed a sandwich and some black coffee, his favorite. He was followed by Luxord and his sake, Saix and his wine, Larxene and her Sprite, Xaldin and his beer, and Lexaeus and his big grey mug of ale. Axel and the others arrived shortly. "We're here!" Axel shouted joyfully as he grabbed his whiskey. Zexion slowly walked over to the refrigerator to get his Sobe and hand Vexen his blue slurpie. Demyx grabbed a bottle of water, Marluxia a V8 (all the while starring at his reflection in the bottle). Xemnas strolled slowly over and picked up a well prepared martini. Roxas was last. His favorite drink was simple, a coke and…a crazy straw. Roxas sat down next to Axel and put his straw in the coke can. Axel starred in amazement. "What is that?" Axel asked, wide-eyed. "Uh…a crazy straw?" Roxas replied. "Ah!" Axel was excited. "Can I have one?!?" "I guess so…" Roxas smiled and handed Axel a crazy straw. Axel stuck the end of his new treasure in his whiskey, but as he lifted the straw back up it melted away because Axel's whiskey seemed to be 'a little' too strong. "No…" Axel whispered. "NOOOO!!! NOT MY CRAZY STRAW!!!" Axel went into panic mode. He had just lost his new treasure. The rest of the organization starred as Axel kneeled on the floor, half of a crazy straw in hand. "Dude, what is wrong with you?" Xigbar asked between drinks of coffee. "My straw…it melted…" Axel managed to whimper. "It was a crazy straw. Chill out." Xigbar replied. Demyx thought foe awhile and said out loud: "Why do Roxas and Axel get crazy straws?" Vexen put down the newspaper he had been reading so intently. "Good point." Lexaeus simply said: "Yea." At this point all of the members had a meeting, except Xemnas and Zexion. Xemnas, being the Superior, had better things to do while Zexion returned to his room in the tallest tower. Zexion was a bit troubled and didn't like to be around the other members while they were scheming stupid things. He was also still mad at Axel for making fun of his powers. Zexion had a heightened sense of smell, that was all, and Axel just loved to rub it in. "Mr. Flame in there thinks he so tough…" Zexion grumbled angrily as he climbed the stairs. Meanwhile the other member's meeting was well under way. Soon after, this meeting group was seen marching to Xemnas's room. "We have a complaint!" Shouted Axel. "Oh? And what's that?" said Xemnas. "We want crazy straws! All of us." Said Demyx and Xigbar in unison. The others shook their heads in agreement. "What the crap are you guys going to do with crazy straws?!?" Xemnas asked, bewildered. "You're nobodies!" Needless to say, the next day all of the members had their own crazy straws…

A few days later, at about 5am, Axel was found roaming the halls in his bunny slippers, antagonizing the sleeping members. First Axel decided to visit Xigbar's room, but Xigbar was used to Axel's little games. As Axel opened the door a small string was pulled across the doorway. As Axel tripped the wire Xigbar sat on his bed with a cup of coffee and bid Axel farewell. Axel was then seen flying out of Xigbar's room, straight across the hall into Marluxia's room. Marluxia was a person who loved how he looked and prided himself in his elegance. But at this point Axel discovered that even the beautiful Marluxia, who was not a morning person, wasn't always pretty. Due to the emotional scars that you may get from me writing what Marluxia looks like in the morning, I will not tell you. It's too gruesome… Axel quickly ran back to his room, grabbed a pen and paper, and made a makeshift sign to hang on Marluxia's door: 'Do NOT Disturb!' After recovering from what he had seen behind Marluxia's door, Axel decided to make one last stop off to Xemnas's bedroom. Xemnas was in a deep sleep dreaming of Kingdom Hearts when he slowly opened his eyes to find himself being straddled by Axel. "Wake up sleepy head." Axel said sweetly. "Come on Mansex!" Axel laughed at his own joke. Xemnas slowly sat up and starred at Axel's smiling face. "Get out…" "Aw, how come, Mansex?" Axel asked. Xemnas simply looked at Axel with an 'or else' look on his face. Axel quickly sprinted out the door. "Bye Mansex!" Xemnas just sighed heavilyand fell back asleep.

Many other random occurrences happen at Organization XIII's castle. Like when Demyx and Marluxia got drunk by accidentally drinking Luxord's sake. They spent the whole day prancing around singing "My Sitar." Demyx even went so far as to call Xemnas 'Mansex' 20 times before he got punched in the eye. "So this is why they don't drink alcohol." Saix thought to himself. Also, there was the Great Oreo Caper. Demyx and Roxas had a secret stash of Oreos in the castle kitchen, but one day the Oreos were gone! An investigation was then utilized and the culprits were revealed to be Xaldin and Xigbar. Who knew? "Where the heck did they get Oreos?!?" Xemnas kept thinking to himself. "I want some…"

**To the Mall**  
Living in the World That Never Was can get boring after awhile and Axel gets bored easily. "Guys…I'm…bored…" Axel grumbled as he played with his newly refurbished crazy straw. The other members seemed bored as well. Demyx and Saix had even resorted to playing cards with Luxord, which they knew was a bad idea. They couldn't win, but heck! What could they do? "I know!" Axel exclaimed, pointing his finger in the air. "Let's go to a mall!" "A what?" Xigbar asked. "A mall! I've heard of these mystical places, they sound fun! Better than sitting around here." Axel answered. "I guess you're right." Said Xaldin. "Yea, I'm bored." echoed Marluxia. "Mansex! Can we go to the mall?" Axel asked sweetly. "Hmmmm… what do you think Saix?" asked Xemnas as he turned to Saix. "Actually, that would probably be a good idea. At least Axel can get rid of some of his energy." Saix said calmly. "All right then, it's settled!" said Axel. "Demyx, go get Zexion, we're going to the mall!" Minutes later, all thirteen organization members appeared in front of the mall. At this point, Xemnas tried to explain that it would be best if they stayed together, but it was too late… they were off. Each member seemed to be pulled to their own store. Xigbar went to Bass Pro Shop with Xaldin trailing behind, Vexen and Lexaeus decided that Starbucks was the place for them, Zexion went to Waldenbooks, Demyx decided on the music store, Luxord was introduced to Hot Topic, Roxas starred in amazement of a gaming store, Larxene was happy to find a Victoria's Secret, Axel was already into mischief in Spencer's, Marluxia was in Abercrombie and Fitch trying on clothes and admiring himself in the mirror. Saix had secretly snuck off to the arcade to dominate at Dance Dance Revolution, and finally, Xemnas had decided to stay behind in the food court and find himself a date. Xemnas seemed to be hitting it off pretty well with the ladies. They were giggling as he talked and starring into his deep eyes. Everything was going great until a disaster known as Axel struck. Axel was coming out of Spencer's and had seen Xemnas down in the food court. "Hey Mansex! Can you hear me? Hey!" Axel began yelling down the hallway. The girls with Xemnas exchanged confused glances. "Is he with you?" They asked. "Uh…no! Of course not!" Xemnas quickly replied. Axel then appeared right behind Xemnas and wrapped his arms around Xemnas's neck. "Hey Mansex, what have you got here?" Axel looked at the girls and winked. A few moments later Axel was found surrounded by girls while Xemnas sat all alone in a corner, a small thunder cloud over his head. No one dared get near him, that would spell death… At about the same time Xigbar and Xaldin had reached the escalator that would take them to Bass Pro Shop. Since neither of them had actually ever seen an escalator before, they were very confused. "What is this thing, Xigbar?" asked Xaldin, a confused look on his face. "It looks like some sort of magic. Look! Those stairs are moving by themselves!" Xigbar then proceeded to pull out his spear gun and shoot the escalator several times until it stopped moving. "There, much better. Let's go Xaldin." All of the nearby customers backed away slowly.

Demyx had reached the music store and was also very confused as he talked to the man at the cash register. "No, look. I need a new string for my sitar." Demyx said as he pulled out his prized sitar. "Dude, that's a guitar." Said the cashier, sure of himself. "This is a sitar." And he pulled out a flat, stringed instrument about the size of a nightstand. Demyx starred in disbelief. "Look…I just want a string for MY sitar, ok?" The cashier shook his head and Demyx decided that he might be better off joining Zexion in the bookstore. Vexen and Lexaeus sat on the top floor of the mall; drinking their cappuccino and watching all the other members act like idiots. They could see Marluxia still posing in front of a mirror. They also witnessed Demyx get his cloak caught in the escalator and Luxord arguing with a Goth in Hot Topic. "Don't you just love our organization?" Vexen asked, laughing under his breath. Shortly after, Xemnas was seen dragging Axel by the hood through the mall. Apparently 'Mansex' had gotten just a little bit jealous of all Axel's flirting. "Come on everyone! We're done!" yelled Xemnas. "Awwww…" all the members sounded disappointed. Roxas spoke up. "Can't we go to one last place before we go home?" "And where's that?" asked Xemnas. "Well, I heard of this place called the Omniplex, I think. It kind of sounds like something you or Vexen would like." Roxas said as he smiled sweetly. Xemnas knew that he couldn't turn Roxas down when he smiled like that. Xemnas sighed. "Oh, all right." "HOORAY!!!" all the other members shouted.

**The Omniplex**  
So now it was off to the mall with the organization. The Omniplex is a museum of science with lots of exhibits you can interact with. In other words, lots of things that the organization members can get into trouble with…

"Oooooohh…" Axel managed to say. There were cool looking things everywhere and Axel decided to check them out, all of them… Once again, the company was off. Marluxia, Xigbar, and Xaldin soon ound themselves lost in a room of mirrors. "Xaldin!" Xigbar exclaimed. "I have clones!" Xigbar was looking around the room, seeing himself in all the mirrors. Marluxia stood in front of one of the mirrors, posing; this was his kind of place! Demyx and Zexion were more interested in the star constellation exhibit, and they sat there the whole time, 'ooohing' and 'ahhhing' at the ceiling, which was covered in fake stars. "You know Demyx, this actually isn't that bad." said Zexion. "I told you so" said Demyx, smiling widely. It seemed that Zexion wasn't so bad after all.

Meanwhile, Xemnas was trying to keep an eye on Axel. "Oh Mansex! Look at this!" Axel pointed to a very long metal tube that extended from the bottom floor to the second floor. "The sign says 'Talk through here and your friends will hear you up there' Hmmmmm… Mansex, wait here, I'll go to the second floor!" At this point, Axel disappeared and then reappeared on the second floor and began to talk through the echo tube. "Mansex? Can you hear me?" Axel began to laugh in amusement. Xemnas's voice was them heard on Axel's end of the tube. "I can hear you, Axe-hole. Now quit calling me that…or else…" "Oooohh…scary Mansex…" said Axel. Then Axel seemed to grow bored of the echo tube and moved on to the aerodynamics section. Demyx and Zexion had finished their constellations show and were coming out of the room, but at that moment Demyx was snatched up by a red streak that turned put to be Axel. "Zexion!!!!" was all that was heard echoing through the hallways. Zexion just starred… "What the HECK was THAT?!?" Axel carried Demyx to an exhibit. This particular exhibit featured a model plane connected to a long pole on the ceiling. When you pressed the button on the exhibit, the plane began flying around in a circle on the ceiling. Axel put Demyx by the big red button and proceeded to climb the wall and hang on to the model plane. Axel pulled a pair of pilot goggles over his eyes and pointed a finger in the air. "Now Demyx! Push the button!" Demyx looked a little uncertain about this idea. "Uh…Axel you know if you don't hold on tight you-" Demyx was quickly cut off by Axel yelling. "PUSH the button Demyx!!!" "Alright…" And Demyx pushed the button. The plane began to accelerate and spin on the ceiling. Axel's screams were heard echoing in and out as he held on for dear life. Demyx pushed the button again to stop the plane and Axel fell to the floor, his hair all blown to one side. "Woah…" Axel managed and then fell over, too dizzy to stand. Demyx simply shook his head in disbelief and laughed to himself.

Don't think that Axel's acts of mischief were over yet! As all the organization members were gathering at the entrance, preparing to return home, Axel had to conduct one more act of stupidity. Xemnas looked around, trying to find Axel. "Axel? Where did you go this time?" "Hey guys! Look at this!" Axel was climbing up the neck of a brontosaurus skeleton model. Some of the members starred with wide eyes as Axel made his way up the long neck. Axel wanted himself to be heard by all the members. "I said, hey gu-" CRASH The rest of the members turned around to see both Axel and the skeleton fall to the floor. It seemed that Axel was a little too heavy for the frail bones… Xigbar walked over to Axel's motionless body and grabbed his cloak hood. "Let's go big shot." And Organization XIII returned home.

**Back at the Castle**  
Back at the Organization XIII Castle the members dawned their pajamas and house shoes. "That was pretty fun." commented Xigbar. "I actually had a good time." Zexion replied, now more cheerful than usual. Axel simply grumbled as Roxas placed an ice pack on the gigantic bump he now had on his head. "I propose another field trip soon!" said Vexen, reading a magazine he had purchased at the mall. "We should go somewhere with a lot of mirrors!" Marluxia said joyfully. Xemnas decided to let Vexen choose their next trip. A few days later, Organization XIII arrived at an ice skating rink. Eleven of the members were pleased, Marluxia as well, who could see his reflection in the ice. The only member who seemed to object was Axel, who spend most of the day slipping, sliding, and falling on the ice. Ice just wasn't his element… Needless to say, that night Roxas was once again putting ice packs on his friend's various injuries. "Maybe we should take a break from trips for awhile. I'm tired…" At this statement Xemnas began to hug Saix and jump for joy. He believed that he had finally found a way to keep Axel under control. Axel looked at Xemnas as a wide smile enveloped his face. "Sorry Mansex, I don't give up that easily." Xemnas starred blankly at Axel. "Now." Axel said. "Where's my crazy straw?"


End file.
